I haven't posted here in a few months not because I fell into a massive La-Z-Boy and got infected with obesity, but simply because I had better and more important things to do. Mostly things involving lots of money, beautiful women, and scandalous photos of me leaking onto the internet. I would post them here for your enjoyment, but I actually can't. Which brings me to my next point.
iPads are utterly useless.
Due to a series of unfortunate technical difficulties involving two of my laptops' power chargers, the only computer-like device that I have access to right now is my parents' iPad. Of course I already knew it was useless even before Steve Jobs somehow managed to Jedi mind-trick me into buying an iPhone a few months ago, but now I can verifiably assert that the iPad isn't so much an iPhone for giants, as it's so often been called, but more accurately a flat-screen TV for midgets.
You see, iPhones are useful because you can put one in your pocket and effectively bring a phone, a camera, and the entire internet with you pretty much wherever you go; iPads are not because you have to put yours on a table next to a Wifi router and then upload pictures to it from another, more capable device. Wait...that sounds a little like something else I know: a computer. But wait again...my $300 dollar netbook (currently missing a power charger) can also do things like run Flash, take pictures with its built-in webcam, save and open whatever file types I want, let me type on something where I can manage more than two words per minute, run programs that don't start with "A" and end in "ngry Birds", and most importantly of all, upload pictures to Blogger.
So instead of the marginally pertinent picture that I would otherwise leave you with, here's some ASCII art of a dwarf watching an iPad:
:)-< |
iPads are utterly useless.
Due to a series of unfortunate technical difficulties involving two of my laptops' power chargers, the only computer-like device that I have access to right now is my parents' iPad. Of course I already knew it was useless even before Steve Jobs somehow managed to Jedi mind-trick me into buying an iPhone a few months ago, but now I can verifiably assert that the iPad isn't so much an iPhone for giants, as it's so often been called, but more accurately a flat-screen TV for midgets.
You see, iPhones are useful because you can put one in your pocket and effectively bring a phone, a camera, and the entire internet with you pretty much wherever you go; iPads are not because you have to put yours on a table next to a Wifi router and then upload pictures to it from another, more capable device. Wait...that sounds a little like something else I know: a computer. But wait again...my $300 dollar netbook (currently missing a power charger) can also do things like run Flash, take pictures with its built-in webcam, save and open whatever file types I want, let me type on something where I can manage more than two words per minute, run programs that don't start with "A" and end in "ngry Birds", and most importantly of all, upload pictures to Blogger.
So instead of the marginally pertinent picture that I would otherwise leave you with, here's some ASCII art of a dwarf watching an iPad:
:)-< |
Posts
